


Quiet Child

by 1stLieutenantTwitchy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Autistic Caleb Widogast, Gen, a lot of these are expanded snippets from the show because, caleb is a stimmy boy and he must....express, canon-level pining, ep 99 spoilers, let's be real mr o'brian is VERY deliberate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1stLieutenantTwitchy/pseuds/1stLieutenantTwitchy
Summary: A collection of Caleb Widogast character studies for Autism Acceptance month.You can pry this headcannon from my cold, dead hands.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 22
Kudos: 247





	1. Fidgeting

The air in the Leaky Tap grew thick and warm with lateness of the evening. Caleb could have told the exact hour (down to the minute) if he’d been asked, but he doubted such knowledge mattered to any of his red-cheeked, boisterous companions. The Mighty Nein occupied a table close to the wall and had long since finished their meal. Now, with drink flowing freely, their corner of the tavern erupted in rowdiness.

Belly full, a pocket full of coin, surrounded by friends who’d unleash hell before letting any harm come to him – Caleb wondered when he’d let himself become used to this. Next to him, Jester kneeled in her chair and launched peas across the table with a spoon. She yelled directions at Nott, who stood with her toothy mouth open to catch them.

Caleb winced at the noise, though he hoped it didn’t show. This was the time of night where he became restless. These people, they were a good group. But after a day of navigating the streets of Zadash and currying favors and running errands - amidst all the people, the smells, and the sounds of the city - he looked forward to the peaceful hour with his books before bed.

Somehow, his diamond ended up between his fingers. He fiddled with it underneath the table. The hard-cut edges provided a welcome distraction from the mounting pressure in his chest. He could join his friends, but for now he contented himself just to watch.

Off in the corner, Fjord had fallen asleep. He sat with his arms crossed over his chest and his head lolling forward, oblivious to the chaos Nott and Jester were creating.

Caleb kept fidgeting.

He moved his hand out from under the table. The twirling diamond caught the soft candlelight of the tavern, and he let it reflect in his eyes. Rainbows and shimmers flashed in its striations, and they held his attention captive.

He used to do this for hours as a boy. He’d sit in his mother’s garden in the shade of plants stretching high above his head. The earth was soft and cool, and the morning dew clung to the leaves around him.

As the sun rose, he’d watch the angled rays turn the droplets into dozens of glittering gems. He’d get lost in each little globe, staring. He wasn’t sure what he’d think about, only that he must have been thinking very hard. Sometimes, not even his mother calling his name could tear him away. The diamond engrossed him in the same way now.

“You trying to communicate with that or something?”

Beau’s voice next to his ear made Caleb jolt out of his thoughts. A rosy color bloomed high on her cheekbones, and a smile tugged at her lips. He closed the diamond into his fist, but it was too late. She’d clearly already seen him. He must have looked very strange, staring so intently like that. He stammered, words refusing to form in his head.

Beau waved her hand at Caleb’s now-closed fist. “You know, ‘cuz you’ve been staring at that thing for a while now. This some weird wizard shit?”

Caleb swallowed. “Ah, not…not quite.”

“It’s ok, Cayleb,” Jester said beside him, spoon and peas forgotten. “Your diamond is very pretty; I stare at gems all the time, too. Look!”

She produced a glittering ruby from her satchel and held it in front of her face for the group to see. Candlelight flashed off the surface as she turned it to and fro.

Mollymauk leaned across the table. “How many of those do you _keep_ in there?”

“I don’t just keep them for _myself_.” Jester spun around to face him at the opposite end of the table. “I need them for my spells, so I can heal all of you guys. You _do_ want me to keep healing you, don’t you?”

Fjord and Beau exchanged looks, and Jester’s lower lip stuck out in a pout.

“Jester, I think you’re a _wonderful_ cleric, and we’re very lucky to have you.”

Jester smiled as she grasped her friend’s hands across the table and turned away in mock humility. “Oh, thank you, Nott.”

“I always speak the truth.” Nott nodded to herself.

The conversation shifted, as most conversations do, and the subject of Caleb and his diamond didn’t come up again. The laughter and joking carried on, not as trying now that he had a distraction.

A ghost of a smile hid in the corner of Caleb’s mouth. He kept fidgeting.


	2. Brooding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too stimmy this time, though I hope you can forgive me <3

“Hey WIDOGAST!”

Caleb flinched at the sound of his name, shouted so clearly over the din of the street. He reached up to stroke Frumpkin’s tail as he turned to find Beau, Jester, and Fjord walking toward him through the crowds of Zadash.

The Nein had split up to complete that day’s round of shopping, with an agreement to meet up outside Pumat’s later. He waited with Nott and Caduceus, Frumpkin curling around his shoulders like an enormous, rumbling scarf.

An uncomfortable thought pricked at the back of his mind. _We’re missing one._

He dismissed it as quickly as it had come. No, there were only six members of the Nein at the moment. No one had seen Yasha since she walked off into the thunderstorm, but she’d be back. Probably. She’d always returned before.

And Molly…

Well, Mollymauk’s absence would take some getting used to, he supposed. That didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Widogast!” Beau called again as they came closer. “We found something for you.”

“Another bookshop?” asked Caleb.

“Nope. Better.”

Jester jumped up and clasped her hands together, nearly bursting with excitement. Her skirt swished about her legs with the movement. “You’ll _never_ guess what it is, Cayleb, it’s just _perfect_ for you.”

Caleb’s eyebrows darted together, though at the sight of his friends so obviously excited, he tried to keep his expression from getting too…what was their word for it? _Broody_.

Fjord jerked his head back the way the group had come. “There’s an establishment in a real quiet part of th’city, found it while we out lookin’ for gems n’such. These two thought we could all mosey on over, take a look.”

Caleb blinked. When no more information came, he curled his finger around Frumpkin’s tail and cleared his throat. “Are you going to keep us in suspense then?”

The grin Beau gave didn’t quite remove suspicion that she was playing a joke.

“It’s a surprise,” she said.

Caduceus leaned against his staff, a gentle smile brightening his face. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“I don’t like surprises,” Caleb said, and immediately chastised himself. Now was not the time to be contrary. He should be better about these sorts of things by now.

“Is it something I’d like?” Nott asked.

“Oh, of course!” Jester said. “Everyone will love it, but -” She reached over and grabbed the sleeve of Caleb’s coat, just enough to send a wave of heat into his ears. “-Cayleb, especially. You _will_ come, won’t you?”

Caleb’s thoughts evaporated for a few seconds too long, and it’s all he could do to stammer out a mumbled, “ _Ja_ , ok.”

That was enough of a confirmation. Jester’s hand in his, they all made their way to the mystery “surprise”, passing through noisy streets of market carts and town criers. They arrived at a small building halfway hidden between an apothecary and a tinsmith’s shop. A worn sign on the door read, _Aunty Azora’s Kitty Corner_.

“See?!” Jester said, swinging her arm in a grand display. “Are you surprised?”

If he were completely honest, Caleb wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking at. Before he could ask, Jester tugged on his arm and dragged him into the building. The chipper sound of a bell announced their arrival. Jester raised her hands to her mouth and gave an astonished “Ooh!” at the building’s interior.

Caleb blinked, finding himself staring at an oddly-shaped, man-made tree. The structure took up almost half of the building, and wooden cages nestled in the hollows of the trunk and on the branches that stretched toward the ceiling. Enchanted globules of lights danced around the fabric leaves in colors of yellow, green, and blue.

And there were cats. At least a dozen cats.

Frumpkin tensed on Caleb’s shoulders, the tip of his tail swishing from side to side. Caleb told him to be calm. About half of the wooden cages on the tree housed a cat. They blinked slowly at the new arrivals, some feigning disinterest, others perking up with their ears thrust forward. Some rested in the crooks of the tree itself, playing with the floating lights.

Caleb was still staring when a rumbling voice came from the desk off to the side.

“Oh, why, hello there!”

A well-muscled half-orc woman leaned forward in her chair. Thick silver hair was pulled into a braid falling over her shoulder, and she lifted a pair of reading glasses from the bridge of her nose. A cat sniffed at the ink well sitting off to the side; the woman shooed it off the desk and it dropped down with a soft pad of feet.

“Don’t be shy!” she said. “I know a pair of kind souls when I see one.”

The bell chimed again, and the rest of the party followed after Caleb and Jester. The old woman’s face lit up.

“More visitors! And proper travelers, by the looks of it.”

Fjord tipped his head toward the woman as the rest of the Nein took in the unique décor. A plump tortoiseshell padded over and rubbed against the side of Beauregard’s leg. She quirked an eyebrow at it, but didn’t move away.

“Are we looking for a furry companion today?” the woman asked. “I see this young man already has a friend. May I?”

She moved from behind the counter and held her fingers out to Frumpkin, looking to Caleb for permission. He resisted the urge to pull away, and coughed his approval. This lady was _nice_ , she wouldn’t hurt his cat – she certainly couldn’t kick him while he was perched on Caleb’s shoulder. The woman made a crooning sound in the back of her throat and scratched the familiar under the chin. Frumpkin closed his eyes in bliss.

_Fluffy traitor._

“We’re not quite in the market today,” Fjord said. “We saw this place while out shopping and thought our friend here might enjoy a visit.”

Caduceus knelt to pet a stumpy-tailed tomcat that had wandered over. “Though, I wouldn’t say a companion is out of the question.”

The old woman gestured to the rest of her shop. “Please! Look all you’d like. The cats love the company, and I don’t mind it either.”

The rest of the Nein wandered further into the cozy building, but Caleb stood a bit longer in his spot near the entrance. Jest immediately ran to the tree, speaking just a bit too loud and a bit too high-pitched, and sent a number of kitties scampering out of reach. Caduceus’ tomcat was now splayed on the floor belly-up, and the firbolg’s hand hovered a few inches above the soft fur’s false invitation.

“What's your name, hon?” the woman asked. "Most folks around here call me Aunt Azora, or just Aunty, sometimes."

“Ah, Caleb Widogast.” A frown creased Caleb’s brow. “Where do they come from? The _katzen,_ I mean.”

“From the streets, mostly,” the woman replied. She picked up the cat that had been on her desk before and nestled it in the crook of her arm. “Some people know of my work and bring them in, but most of them are strays.”

“Do many come here for, ah, furry companionship?”

“More than you’d think,” she said. "Zadash isn’t too kind a place for little creatures, but its people? On their own, they’d quite surprise you.”

By now, Jester had moved to the wall and knelt in front of a box resting on the floor. She squished her cheeks in her hand, and her tail curled behind her in delight.

"Looooooook!"

Caleb bent to look into the box. A silver tabby cat nestled into a bed of soft blankets and blinked slowly at him. Five mewling kittens snuggled up against her belly.

“May we hold them?” Jester asked.

“Oh, not those ones, dear,” Azora said. “They’re only a few days old – they don’t even have their eyes open yet. I don’t think their mama would let you near them.”

While Jester cooed over the squirming babies, Caleb wandered behind the giant cat tree. Frumpkin stood on his shoulders, and he gently picked up his familiar and set him on the ground.

“Go play,” he said.

He walked to the back of the building. Two kittens tumbled over each other in a playfight, one black, one a brown tabby; he settled down beside them and leaned against the wall.

“Hello, there,” he said.

He crossed his legs, and the little black kitten immediately climbed into his lap.

“A tenacious little one, aren’t you?” he asked.

The black kitten yelled at him.

“What, do you think I have food?”

The kitten yelled again. Its little pink mouth contrasted with its smoke-colored fur, and its eyes squinted with the force of its voice. Caleb held his fingers out for it to sniff. He rubbed behind its ears, and the little thing immediately started purring.

Caleb poked the kitten on the nose. It blinked in surprise. Up came the paws, and it grabbed onto his hand and attacked his fingers with its teeth. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

By the time anyone found him again, three kittens clung to the front of his coat with their needle-like claws, and a fourth latched onto his hand. Nott ran over.

“CALEB!” she shrieked. “They’re attacking you!”

Caleb held up the hand that was not currently occupied. “Nott! Nott, it’s alright, they’re only playing.”

A chorus of mews responded to the sound of his voice, and the black kitten tumbled back into his lap. The one attached to his hand gave his wrist an uncoordinated rabbit-kick.

Fjord walked over and folded his arms over his chest. “Looks like they took quite a liking to you, Caleb.”

“Oh my god,” Beau said. “I think Caleb’s a dad now.”

“You know we can’t take _all_ of them home, right?” Fjord asked.

Caleb made a face at brown tabby. It’s tail stuck straight out from its bottom, and it tumbled over trying to attack the ends of Caleb’s scarf. Jester knelt down next to him and lifted one of the kittens off his coat and brought it to her cheek.

“I _told_ you it was a good surprise,” she said, snuggling the fidgety cat.

Caleb smiled. “ _Ja._ ”

A good surprise indeed.


End file.
